Wheelie bins, when they first came on the scene everyone thought what a wonderful contraption, god bless the man who invented them. They are relatively easy to manouver , are quite spacious, and easy to clean, I will say it again god bless that wonderful wheelie bin man, that was before we went from weekly collections to fortnightly collections, now I curse the horrible little bugger who invented the damn things.
I can remember in my youth, the bin men bustling down the street, walking up the garden path to hoist a metal bin over there shoulder, which was emptied and then placed back inch perfect in position closing the gate as they left - how far we have come since then......
Nowa days if the bin is a fraction open, it won't be taken, I remember having a conversation over the phone with the refuse office about a such incident when our recylcling bin wasn't emptied as it wasn't completely shut, "health and safety, something could fall out and fall on our workforce" was the responce I got, something could fall out?, of a recycling bin? I can see the headlines now MAN CRUSHED BY A PINEAPPLE CHUNK TIN or SHOCK HORROR TOILET ROLL TUBE FLATTEN BIN MAN, what a load of old tosh.
Strikes me that the lazy buggers will the bins to be open as then its one less they have to empty. Mind you the job nowadays is fairly easy in our road, we all leave our bins at the roadside handes facing outwards for ease of collection, which if we are lucky enough to have them emptied, get strewn along the roadside hap hazard,lids flapping in the wind - it's all wrong you know, what the hell are we paying for.
It is truly a releif to find that the bins have been emptied, as once I did note a little man with the bin men examining the contents of the bins, (yes checking, how very very sad)to make sure that it was indeed recycling in the green bin and we hadn't been so terribly naughty as to put last nights leftovers in , as an act of rebellion. Dear me, its so good to know that the tax payers money is being put to good use, I bet the wheelie bin rubbish checkers mum is so proud of her sons position, all those years of education put to such good use.
Well this week for us it was green bins and garden waste, the latter which we pay extra for I might add. We have two green bins as we have a dispensation form the council for an extra bin as we have a large family (nice of them), which are always brimming, but not open, for collection as they are fortnightly, and as you can set your watch by our bin men, always ready for collection for when they come. Well today they tried to catch us all out, by coming 4 hours early.
There we all are having breakfast, trying to wrestle 5 children into clothes when there flys past the dustcart, leaving our packed to the rafter bins, packed to the rafters as they had not yet been put out by the roadside but where still in the drive.
Total Panic, out I ran in pyjamas and slippers trundling the bins to the verge, I was not alone thank fully as everyone else who had not yet left for work did the same , and there we all stood looking after the fleeting dustcart distressed as to what we where going to do for the next two weeks with our rubbish.
Then, the neighbour to my left who I despise intently, takes off up the road with his wheelie bin in tow chasing after the bin men - this was turning into a farse - Benny HIll must have been smiling down at this point. It was classic comedy, the red faced little bugger set off at speed he was like a whippet, shouting "stop, stop" as he charged forward, I was in tears and not because they hadn't taken me rubbish. I felt like running inside and getting the children to witness this abandonisation of dignity, but couldn't move from the spot. He finally gave up 200ft down the road as the dustcart sped off, not caring to stop, his importance clearly is as lost on them as it is on us, but great comedy value, I didn't care about the bins then.
I left them at kerbside , whilst a neighbour called the council who apparently said, "you should put your bins out the night before" to every question he asked ,he continually kept stating that there is no need as they usually come the same time every week, but was only answered with "put them out the night before", what day is it today ?"put them out the night before", do you like easter eggs? "put them out the night before", It was like a droid with a set programmed responce.
I decided to leave the bins out as I gathered many would complain so the bin men would have to come back, those fiends, who indeed did the next morning and collected the rubbish albeit a day late and of course more of the tax payers money wasted - it was collected.....apart from running mad neighbour who had taken his bin in in disgust and not put it back out, it would have been only too sweet for him to take chase again, but he did not this time, I bet he was still knackered from the previous days excertion 200mtrs wheelie bin sprint, fool!
So next week it is the general waste collection whereas our bin along with the rest in our street will be put out the night before to avoid this disaster happening again - I say disaster far greater things have happened to us but its nice to have this one for a change.
The devil in me does feel like sneaking back important neighbours bin into his drive just to see him jet off again, but of course I am not that sad.............
well not quite yet anyway!
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