A DISH BEST SERVED COLD

WEll anyone who has read me book A November To Remember, and if you haven't shame on you!, will know that I have had bowel cancer and have been renovating my house, at the same time as having bowel cancer which wasn't obviously planned but happened so we had one of two options A. pack up and run which we felt like doing often, or 2. Bulldog spirit , stay and fight - we choses option 2, a framed portrait of Sir Winston hangs in our hall -V for victory- or in our case at times v for vacant as in where are your brains.

It was a living nightmare which without the cancer many would have given up in exasperation, damp, no heating, no electrics, one room shared by all seven of us, we felt like squaters, but as we had far more pressing and important things to deal with it all got lost in one big mess of a mix and somehow we got through.

We are now surfacing from the drowning feeling of property developing, and now have rooms to go to which are bright and relatively clean, I say relatively as goober from the bloodhound hangs from walls and I have even noticed some on the ceiling - well it all adds a certain character doesn't it, so I will deal with that when I have nothing better to do, so sometime never then.

In January however I had a notion to dig up the driveway and do it up, as I was sick of seeing patchy grass and mud from the kitchen window, which is now nearly finished and looks rather splendid.

So armed with a shovel off I pop after dropping of the children to there schools and playgroups to begin the digging. I was however on morphine at the time as I had foolishly eaten at christmas (after the cancer I cannot eat very much but succumbed to the turkey and paid the price with pain) and was suffering from a blockage, I was in the hope that excersise would help shift blockage which I think it did, and got the driveway started to boot , so two birds with one stone.

Afterplaygroup my little one would help armed with a spade and quietly we would dig through the wind and the rain only stopping for cbeebie breaks and of course for me the morphine, which I think was toget me through the cbeebies and not the pain at times - what a load of old tosh.

Then we had the amazing rain and winds which scuppered everything in the front for weeks with a tree blowing down over newly dug drive which now resembled a qwagmyer due to the rain, I began to think, why did I start this - oh shit it looks even worse that it did.

Well annoying neighbour of course thought the same,who I have named PRUNES

P POMPOUS

R RUDE

U UNIMPORTANT

N NEIGHB

E ERING

S cant think of anything for this one, well I can but not printable

for the amount of times they walked past, back and forth and smirked at the fallen tree, if I had a pop gun I could have played shoot a duck like at the fairground, I bloody well wouldn't have missed.So instead of screening themselves from the appaling mess (rome wasn't built in a day you know)what do they decide to do, put up a fence, please please plesae, no,they decide to cut back all the trees which are ours by the way, that run along the flank, so it can be seen even more????,

WHAT!!!!!!

The shame of it was, as we do not speak to them, you can probably see why ,was we where going to have the overgrown bushes cut back anyway to make way for a fence, to block them out - er I mean for privacy, so on the Sunday ready for the tree man to arrive on the monday out we go in the pouring rain armed with loppers and sheers and cut back all the overgrowth leaving a channel by the excisting fence to accomidate the new one, so prune wasted his time cutting back our trees, and as you can imagine was a tad well furious!.

I arrived back from the school run to see Mrs Prune hands on hips staring at me through openness, puffing out her cheeks smoke billowing from her nostrils before huffing into her house and of course slamming the door.

I then had the task of continuing the lopping (tree man had called and said he would be here tomorrow), as rain stopped play yesterday, whilst Mr Prune stood inches in front of me again puffing and chortling a pompous chortle awaiting a response from moi.

Well he didn't get one although I had several things in my mind ready, again none printable, before he went off to slam his wheelie bins and head back into house.

I got the job finished only to receive a call from tree man to say his dog was ill and the job would have to be put off until next month - oh dear, a month of staring from prunes, the thought sent shivers down my spine, so off I pop to the garden centre to buy screening as a temporary measure , which after getting small one into the car, if looks could kill, the way I was being stared at by both prunes through open expanse of boundary, I would be six feet under by now, was a must.

So....., the saga continues of putting up screening for the rest of the week, under stare conditions and tuts and chortles, definately not from us if cbeebies was on, until the job was done, excellent I thought, now you cannot see us but more importantly I cannot see you. And as the best neighbour you can have is a high fence, I beleived job was done, although only temprarily until tree man came with new fence, but for now job done.

Well after they had kicked the posts a few times, no tuts or chortles now, over the next few days, everything we thought had died down, no-one likes change , and as we fell out over the garden not being done a few years ago in the first place - after all we did have a few more pressing things on our minds at the time in our defence 5 children, cancer, after having 6 tonne of aggragate delivered last week the driveway is now done, complete with trees shrubs and planters, all we need now is the tree man to do the fence and remove the poor fallen tree the job will be done.

Even delivery men have commented on how wonderful the transformation looks, from mud patch to low maintainence perfection.

So I go into Kitchen to have a coffee and admire my hard work t'other day and I see my screening moving, prune is pushing into it, undeterred I have my coffee although still watching intently, funny how you get isn't it!, thinking screening only a temporary measure until fence comes, not long to wait, but guess what, now prune cannot see us and even if he could driveway is finished, he decides to put up a fence! Brains or what, why didn't he do it when it was a mud patch instead of staring at me, unless they want to stare? I dunno but it seems rather foolish to put one up now?

So , me thinks I don't need to put one up then, saves us a few bob, which I relay to tree man who was about to order said fence, so just in the nick of time I stopped him.

I cannot understand people, especially ones who have been on this earth far longer than I. Could it be that with age you feel you have the right to be petty and get away with anything? Use your acid tongue at will to spit at people who are guilty of creating change but nothing more? People who saw a chance and went for it, and then through sheer adversity conquered?. I think so, and I guess after all weve been through my husband and I will turn into miserable old buggers, I just hope I get the chance to get that old!, still out of sight out of mind, even though I do hold a grudge, it works for me.

If I HAD however bided my time and thought of a plan of revenge, after the initial backlash form the prunes, to play devils advocate (hmm hmm, theres gambling going on in this establishment) by digging up the driveway -leaving it for a bit, aided by the heavens above themselves with the storms, knowing full well it would drive prunes to distraction, and hopefully put up a fence, the words played fiddle and like spring to mind, it would havebeen a plan of sheer perfection, even the SAS couldn't have executed it any better, dear Sir Winston would have been so proud. All thats left would be to put up the union Jack in the middle of the drive.

But of course I am not that devious, and have far better things to do with my time haven't I?

Flag pole goes up next week!